But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
