idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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