508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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