the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
