he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
