he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
