remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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