My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
