I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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