omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fuck appropriateness.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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