new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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