Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
