She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
