How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize