im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
