That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
