it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
