Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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