if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
