I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
