There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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