it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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