her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If that was your dad, he is hot
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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