It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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