he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
