he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
