I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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