You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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