Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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