its not stalking. its research.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
