my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
