i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Is it because I queefed?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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