the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
