At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize