I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
