...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
