If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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