her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
