she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
