The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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