that's an acceptable place to lick
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
