I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
where does the pee come out of this thing
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
