Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
