Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
