I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
