Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
