So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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