You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
