i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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