so explain again why im purple
no
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
