Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
