you guys were way drunker than both of me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
