Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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