New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I need to stop coming to work sober
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
