dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
