remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
