went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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