i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
