I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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