if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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