i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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