Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
