The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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