I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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