You really coming over, don't trick.
Plan B is the new Plan A
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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