You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
