when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
